A Certain Couple's Three-Day Visit in Enemy Base
by lixiaofossil
Summary: This is what I call "Mrs. and Mr. Yukikaze".


**When my friend Commander "Shrimp Pie" introduced this wonderful inspiration, I went overexcited and rolled on the floor for ten minutes before calming down. Yukikaze and Rei Fukai you two just go and get married already!  
**

* * *

**Phase One**

Black colors that envelopes everything is rescinding, finally they return to emerald, normal sky of Planet Fairy…again.

"Gimme a break! What's up with all these dramas here?" Rei looks around from canopy: "Let's RTB."

Before Yukikaze responds, just like ink spread throughout pond, darkness diffuses around.

"Ah! Not again! This is the fifth time today!" Rei helplessly witnesses Yukikaze's instruments go blank…once more, saving only fuel gauge, and it's on scarlet segment.

Yukikaze takes control herself, accelerates to fly straight forward.

Rei: "Next time you should pay attention on fuel conservation…" Immediately, as if a retaliatory respond, Yukikaze violently shakes her fuselage.

"Shake all you want, just won't help to solve the problem." Rei looks forward, a green gap merges from endless dark.

Break free from black curtain, sky is emerald as usual. However, landscape had been completely changed. Steep mountains and valleys, as well as shadows casted by them, feels like monster's opened jaws that want to shallow anything and anyone fly above.

"Yuki, can you ascertain our position and plot a path of RTB?" There's no reference to determine their position, at least for Rei things look like this.

"There, I detected an air force base." Yukikaze announces (displays) on a screen and simultaneously changes bearing. Rei can recognize a military complex constructed on ground miles away and miles above.

"Be careful, a base in middle of nowhere is probably a trap set by JAM." Rei thinks Yukikaze should say (display): "I'm starving! There must be food!"

Yukikaze starts low-fuel alarm.

"All right all right! Guess we have no choice but search something eatable there."

Yukikaze initiates landing sequence and is descending happily.

Rei (sarcastically): "If we can't find anything to eat, then just starve to death there."

"If you don't have anything positive to say, stay silence." Yukikaze intentionally bumps when touching down on runway.

"Bumping just made me even more hungry, anyways, better than crash by running out fuel."

Yukikaze taxis through runway: "So you can speak positive contents after all."

* * *

**Phase Two**

Yukikaze successfully landed on this fossilized runway which is so fossilized, even can grow mushrooms from cracks.

Not single aircraft can be seen in this unknown air force base, a scary scene of tranquility. Yukikaze occupies four apron blocks with hegemonism.

There are buidings hundreds meters away, but no human activities, obviously a dead place.

Awkward moment.

"Now what?" Rei pulls off helmet.

"Go and find food of course." Yukikaze shows remaining fuel is insufficient for taking off.

Rei loosens seatbelt lazily on purpose: "This place gives me creeps, what if I got eaten by ghosts? Scary…"

Yukikaze displays: "Seat ejection imminent, T-minus 10."

"All right all right." Rei grabs sidearm: "If something unfavorable happen…"

Yukikaze displays all available armaments, including a city-vaporizing **Massive Ordnance Penetrator**.

"Good girl." Rei gives Yukikaze a thumb-up then jumps off and walks to the haunted structures.

One second after entering the building, entrance "disappears" behind him. For one second, Rei is regret of leaving Yukikaze.

Two people in the lobby, one is with spiky hair and the other is bald, they claim to be ground staff.

"I'd like some fuel." After a courtesy of saluting, greeting, filling forms, Rei asks for a request.

"You'd like to meet our superior first. This way please."

Rei follows the two walking down corridors. The structure seems tiny from exterior, but observe from interior it is so huge. Passageways and hallways are arranged as tangled as spider web, all the doors, walls…are identical, bare, without any decorations. But most noticeable phenomena is there are no other people or humanoid objects are seen except those two self-proclaimed "ground staff".

"What is this development?!" Rei thinks while walking: "You always suck at imitating human and human civilization."

* * *

**Phase Three**

Rei is arranged in a bedroom. "Our superior is too busy, so you can sleep here." The one with spiky hair leaves pilot here and vanishes without a trace.

Four walls plus ceiling are white, no windows. Rei gets nervous as he doesn't know Yukikaze's status.

"Since had entered enemy's den, let's wait and see what tricks in their sleeves."

Night.

"That human is really troublesome! Look at how many food he had eaten during supper!" The one with bald head is shouting to his companion.

Spiky Hair: "What's the big deal? We don't eat after all. So I'm smart enough to snatch dozens of foodstuff from human bases, now they can put in good use."

Bald Head: "Do we just feed him everyday?"

Spiky Hair: "Feed him until further orders arrive, our initial objective is keeping both of them alive and undamaged. Say, shall we dismantle B-503's wings at first place?"

Bald Head: "Are you crazy?! What if she self-destructs?!"

Spiky Hair: "Then we just leave them alone. And you're the one who cook tomorrow, I was burnt so severely today in kitchen."

Bald Head: "Hey! Don't sneak off from your duty!"

…

Rei wanders through the maze of corridors, but he is literally a rat in maze. He cannot find a way out, even nor the way how he came, much less to find fuel for Yukikaze. The structure inside base facility is somehow considerably different from what he remembered when first came in. Rei is merely walking blindly in pure-white network of corridors with countless numbered doors. Every door with odd number is an office, every even number is a bedroom, all furnishings are same.

"What's up with all these dramas here?" Rei sighs: "Patience Jedi, patience. We gotta figure out a way to escape from this trap, together."

Sleepy begins catch up with him, although ate a lot, but spending time to find an exit was proofed to be exhausting.

"Yuki must be still starving out there, sorry pal, it's not me who slacking off…good night." Rei finds a random bedroom and goes system stand by.

* * *

**Phase Four**

"Today's three objectives are finding a way out, finding fuel and unite with Yuki." Rei makes a list while opening eyelids.

"Good morning sir, breakfast is ready." Bald Head enters.

"I slept in a random room and you find me almost instantly, do you really think I won't be suspicious? Are these two JAM clone really stupid to such extent or deliberately act in this way?!" Rei doesn't know what expression to put on.

"Do you come to tell me that I can take off in no time?"

"Negative sir, your aircraft still needs maintenance."

"What?! Can you please at least be a little, if any, innovative?! Are your superiors idiots too?!" Rei almost can't help to laugh. He has an impulse to expose their clumsy performance, however after a second thought, the decision is to cooperate with them, continuing the show: "Yuki can defend herself from these dorks, I need to wait for the appropriate time to strike."

"We still have a question to ask…"

"Wait a sec." Rei cuts short: "I remember I once got custody in a TAB (tactical advanced base) which turned out to be a trap set by JAM, there was a JAM clone told me my plane was malfunction in an attempt to cheat security password from me."

"Um…eh…"

"JAM always up to no good, you agree?"

"…you…you rest, I'm back to work…"

Later.

Spiky Hair: "What's wrong with you?! You said you have an idea…"

Bald Head: "Not good! He may already see through our tricks and deliberately deflect us."

"Is your pistol a toy?!"

"But our objective is keep them alive and undamaged!"

"At least you can scare him by your pistol…" Rei stays inside that bedroom for another day while Spiky Hair and Bald Head argue with each other.

Rei finds himself experiencing troubles to get asleep, because he is separated from Yukikaze, if he wants to see Yukikaze, confrontation against those two JAM clones will be inevitable and there's no escape without fuel, to get fuel for Yukikaze, he must figure out a plan, to get a plan, he must have a good sleep, however he can't sleep if Yukikaze is separated from him…

"We really should just crash by running out of fuel instead land here…" Rei is writhing on bed: "No, crashing with Yuki would be too selfish…I really shouldn't enter the facility…no, with out food I would starve to death and Yuki may strand here forever…"

Rei combs hair, maybe take a chance to walk around…again, may bring some new discoveries. He is right, for he finds a huge gate after several minutes of proceeding.

"I didn't remember this." Rei enters and upon seeing a plane with text "Yukikaze".

"When did you get inside? Did they feed you?" Rei climbs into cockpit, no place like Yukikaze's seat.

"Nobody did anything bad to you, huh? We gotta discuss an escape plan."

Yukikaze's screen: "Please input password to unlock system."

"I know I know. You're afraid that if I'm a JAM clone." Rei puts fingers on keyboard.

"Was it a dream?!" Rei suddenly wakes up and finds himself pillowing on the folded quilt. To mark the bedroom, he specifically folded it to octagon.

"It should not be a dream, but Yuki had already evolved into the new form…so it had to be a dream…not my concern now, I need sleep to preserve strength to chock two JAM clone in a single fight." He rolls and sleeps.

Meanwhile, Spiky Hair is smacking his companion with an empty can: "Are you an idiot?! Don't you know old B-503's password is different from the new one's?!"

Bald Head: "How should I know?! We don't have duplication of new B-503, that's not my fault!"

Spiky Hair: "If we already have a duplication of new B-503, who needs to get that damn password?!" Continuing smacking.

"Arrah! You're killing me!"

"Technically you're already killed!"

"Maybe we were doing wrong all the way! We should start over from B-503 directly!"

"But the objective…"

"Last time two clones attempt to get password from him and were destroyed direly, don't you know?"

"But I remember only one was destroyed, that girl I have a crush wasn't…"

…

* * *

**Phase Five**

"Sir, something strange happened to your aircraft, can you check it out?" Rei, still asleep, is dragged away by a hurried Spiky Hair.

"So Yuki began to make her move…" Thinking, Rei asks: "How strange?"

"Completely inactive." Spiky Hair says.

Rei: "You must bully her for once or several times, didn't you?"

"How can that possible? I mean, how can we bully a plane?"

Rei is dragged to outside. And the exit to outside is just in front of bedroom. He thinks sarcastically: "You can tag yourselves 'JAM' on forehead."

Rei climbs to edge of cockpit, seeing several vocabularies flash on Yukikaze's screen and fade fast, a shared soundless understanding only belongs to him and her.

"Say, you didn't give her fuel all three days, did you?" Rei, standing on ladder, turns around and asks.

"Um…nope." Spiky Hair is embarrassed.

"If you arrive at a unfamiliar place and eat nothing for three days, how do you feel?" Rei climbs down with no expressions.

"But before I'm starved to death, I'll faint at first place." Spiky Hair argues.

Rei: "That's my point. She's out by starvation because you didn't refuel her for three days."

"I told you to refuel the plane for one hundred times! See? I was right!" Bald Head smacks Spiky Hair with the very same empty can that Spiky Hair used to smack him yesterday.

"If we fuel B-503, they may escape…"

"Shut up!" The two are locked into grappling. Rei looks at the scene with a blank face.

Half an hour later, Yukikaze finally get refueled.

"Don't be parsimonious like JAM." Rei is lazily leaning on front landing gear.

"Yes…yes…" The stooge duo is carrying on refueling procedure.

"Are you satisfied now?" Bald Head finishes fueling.

"Thanks." Rei climbs up to cockpit, then fall roughly on floor, the ladder is withdrew.

Before he can react, someone wraps his neck by arm and points a handgun at him.

"I had enough! I know you're planning to escape!" It is Spiky Hair, he drags Rei to Yukikaze's front.

"Wait! Wait!" Bald Head waves both arms: "We need both of them…"

"Shut up!" Spiky Hair growls.

"You take all responsibility!" Bald Head runs away, to building's entrance, then peeps out.

"Surrender now! Or your sweetie will get himself blown wide open!" Spiky Hair shouts atrociously to Yukikaze: "We know you're tricky, but now we have hostage!"

"Yuki…" Rei speaks.

"You'd better persuade your honey to surrender if you don't want to die…"Spiky Hair is completely complacent about his actions.

"Shoot." Says Rei.

"What?!" Spiky Hair cannot believe his ears.

"Yuki, shoot."

Yukikaze aims Rei and Spiky Hair.

"How can you kill your husband?! I don't believe it!" Spiky Hair hides himself behind Rei, still wraps arm around his neck and points gun to him.

Rei: "You really think Yuki's 20mm SAPHEI (**semi-armor-piercing high-explosive incendiary**) slugs are that weak?"

"Human, are you really that selflessness?" Spiky Hair is still in disbelief.

"Necessary sacrifice to win victory is acceptable." Rei speaks calmly: "I count to three, one…two…"

"Wait a sec!" Panicked, Spiky Hair moves muzzle away, and promptly get punched out of commission by Rei, with his gun seized.

Bald Head shoots Rei from building, but Yukikaze blocks all bullets by her wing.

Yukikaze shoots back, collapses structure, burying Bald Head with rubble.

In less than a blink eye, table is turned, Rei and Yukikaze are victorious.

"Well done." Rei pats off dust from hands, climbs into cockpit via Yukikaze's wing.

"You…you…" Bald Head is struggling to pull himself out from rubble piles, obviously this process will take hours.

"Thank you for hospitality, so long." Yukikaze taxis on runway, accelerates to lift off speed.

* * *

**Phase Six**

After another hour, they finally find a way of RTB. Yukikaze switches to autopilot and flies smoothly.

Rei: "I gonna have a good bath and a good meal, plus a good sleep when back to base. Say, I probably ate all food reserve in that JAM trap, but after all those were stolen from we Fairy Air Force…Yuki? Why you're so silent? Mad at me for leaving you outside so long?"

"There's other aircraft's scent on you…" After slowly displaying such texts, Yukikaze kicks on maximum acceleration, straight forward.

"Stop! Yuki! I'll be crushed! Stop! STTTTOOOOPPPP!"

…

* * *

**Phase Bonus**

"Did you hear that? Central Computer issued a questionnaire 'What will you do if you can be a human for one day' to all SAF planes." Here comes lieutenant's lovable, kind-hearted yet internally tortured friend, Major James "Jack" Bukhar…again. This guy is always around, huh? It's a miracle Yukikaze still can tolerate him.

"I know. Yuki said she'd like be a bikini babe and play with me on beach for 24 hours." Rei lazily leans on his office chair: "She even checked Japanese cartoonists' illustrations to find a body that she saw fit."

"So if you can be an aircraft? Which plane you'll choose?" Jack asks: "FRX-00 or FRX-99."

"Neither of them."

"So you want to be FFR-31MR/D? Quite nostalgia you are."

"Nah, I'd like be a refueling tanker."

"Why?"

"Provide maximum support to Yuki of course." Rei smiles.

"Somehow I'm expecting you saying this, such a virtuous husband, huh?" Jack sighs: "But if you really turns into a refueling tanker, outcome will be a catastrophe?"

"Why?"

"Yukikaze will pull out all tricks to burn out fuel in order to approach you."

"She won't be that disobedient."

"Or Yukikaze may pull out all tricks to drive other planes away from you, you know her desire of monopolization is even more severe than Himari Noihara (consult Wikipedia for **Omamori Himari **if you don't know what Jack means)."

"Not likely. Yuki knows prioritize her missions ahead of private feelings."

"A valid point…" Suddenly Jack, as if seeing something uncanny, covers eyes by both hands: "No…no…no! That could be too inappropriate…"

"What?"

Jack shrugs: "You're her private property after all, 'cause a refueling tanker…is a masochism…"


End file.
